stop this oppression, Bradly and Noah
Man, these comments crack me up. Because they are all completely legit… every Australian has childhood memories of dealing with swooping magpies (or plovers or crows) in various forms of home brew armour… helmets with ping pong balls painted to look like eyes and/or mohawks of long cable ties, riding your bike with one hand, the other above your head waving the biggest stick you can carry while riding in a straight line.
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
motherfucking australia
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
wait.
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
I used to have to walk passed this cockatoo gang on the way home from school when I was like in grade 5 and they would literally block the footpath and not move until I gave them what was left of my lunch. I couldn’t even cross the road or run because like 15 of them would come after me. My Mum asked me once why I was so hungry in the afternoon and I had to tell her it was because the cockatoos would get angry if I didn’t give them my food. Like kids didn’t rob me of my lunch the fucking birds did.
